The compassion of God

I don't think I could ever express myself fully in words the passion and gratitude I am feeling right now. God has just shown me over and over again how spending time in the Presence of God flows over into ministering to the world. All I need to do is just rest in His Presence and He does all the rest. I've been praying that God would give me a heart of compassion for the people around me. Because of that I've been searching out His heart and asking Him where would He go if He wanted to reach the lost and the needy in Corvallis. One of the things that was made aware to me was something that I had been doing all along but didn't realize that it was one the best places to minister love and grace to people, I ride the bus. Since that realization the bus has me completely humbled every time I get on. These are the people that Jesus would be after. These are the people that need ears to hear their stories. Over the last few weeks I've been getting words of knowledge about people I've been on the bus with. He's asked me to step out of where I am comfortable to comfort someone else. It's been so amazing. But today, instead of just asking me and me just doing. There was a change in my heart. I felt His compassion instead of being just something I did in an act of obedience in faith.

Today I was spending some extra time with Jesus. I pressed in during my normal worship and prayer time. I had a challenge from Jared to speak in my prayer language for an hour straight. I speak in tongues quite a bit but I'm not sure that I've ever pressed in for an hour straight in the Spirit. It was a super exciting challenge. I was so excited because I knew that God's Presence would undo me. I love being undone by my Savior.
After spending that time pressing in God led me to my normal spot, Timberhill Starbucks! Lucky for me the bus that goes to Timberhill goes right by my new apartment! So I hopped on. I put my earphones in and started to listen to my music (Brian and Jenn Johnson, fyi). I got a little wrapped up in my music and I missed my stop. I was slightly irritated but I didn't have anything else to do that day so it wasn't so bad. So, I had to make the full cycle again to get to Timberhill. For some reason, I'm not sure why exactly (well, now I know) I felt like I should get out my $5 bill then, just so I was ready to buy my tall carmel Frappuccino. We made a stop at 9th and circle and picked up a lady, a man and a little girl (I'm assuming her husband and daughter). As soon as they got on God spoke to me and told me to give her my money.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with God's love for her. God loves her so much. God wanted to bless this little Hispanic lady and her family. My first thought was, "God, it's just $5, it's not enough to bless anyone with. She is going to be offended that I gave her such a little amount for no reason." But then I realized that I was being lied to by the enemy. So, I made up my mind to do it. I was nearing my stop, I leaned over to her, she had sat right next to me, and put the bill in her hand. I told her, "I felt like I was supposed to give this to you."
She looked up at me and I could see tears forming in her eyes, which made me start to cry. The same compassion that God has for this lady was flooding over me. She said to me, "But, why?" I told her, "Because God loves you so much. He wants to bless you with this"
She grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. A tear rolled her check as she kept asking me why I want to do this for her. And she kept saying "Bless you, bless you!" The bus had stopped at my stop already and I had to turn quickly and ask the driver to pull over. I was telling her how much Jesus loved her and how beautiful her daughter was as I was running out the door while the bus was practically still moving.

I'm not saying any of this to give myself any glory but instead to lavish love and glory on our God who deserves it all. God allows us to feel what He feels. He allows us to partner in blessing people. We get to be Jesus' hands and feet on the earth. This story isn't about me at all and really, isn't not about the money that I gave her. It's the fact that to her, a smile and $5 was a sign of love from the Creator of the universe. A sign that there is a God that loves her more than she could ever know.
And for me, I got to feel the love of God in a powerful way, it was well worth it. That feeling I had was completely and utterly priceless in every way. I was humbled that He would consider speaking through my mouth and giving through my hands. In everything I do, I want to represent Jesus. I pray that God continues to completely consume me and overtake and undo me. I just want so much more. I know there is so much more.