Discipline and Intimacy

This morning I woke up with one word floating around in my spirit. It's a word that's been there for a while now but I'm becoming more and more in tune with the heart of God over the issue of intimacy. Intimacy. Oh, Jesus, how I long to know more of that deep intimacy with Your heart.

My time with God this morning was interesting because He was talking to me about something that I didn't expect. I asked Him what He wanted to teach me about today and He said, "Discipline" and my reaction was WHAT? WHY? I'm learning intimacy, not discipline and they can't be connected. And He just smiled and told me that was because I didn't have the Father's understanding, yet.

My idea of discipline is so skewed and tainted by past hurts. When I think of discipline I always get the picture of a drill Sargent or something in my head. Someone demanding something from me. Getting up at 0500 and running 10349583 laps. Giving up stuff that I don't want to give up.
Over the years I think God has softened my heart to the true meaning of that word but I still didn't have understanding until this morning He taught me about discipline out of intimacy.

He was showing me 3 types of discipline. Discipline out of fear, discipline out of fear of the Lord and discipline out of intimacy.

Discipline out of fear is destructive. It's along the same lines of God being up in Heaven barking out orders to us humanoids. It comes from not having a true grasp on the loving character of God. There is no understanding of grace and forgiveness. You obey because you fear punishment from others and from God. It comes from not knowing your identity of daughter or son. There is so more to God than obeying Him out of fear. There is grace and love that covers all things. The work He finished on the cross is just that, FINISHED. His wrath was satisfied once and for all on the cross through Jesus. Claiming Jesus as your Savior blots out sins, God doesn't see them anymore. There is no reason to view obedience and discipline with that mindset any longer. You live under grace not fear! We have access to life free from fear because His perfect love cast out all fear.

Discipline out of fear of the Lord is what I see most Christians living under. They have honor and respect for the Lord. They know that the Lord loves them and has their best interests in mind. They have peace and joy that comes from Him. They are amazed by Him and know that His ways are above their ways, and they trust Him. That is all really awesome. They obey out of honoring the Lord. They know the Word and desire to follow it; it is the road map to pure living. But I'm learning that there is a far better way.

Discipline out of intimacy.
I have a story that God brought to mind when I was praying about this and I felt like I should share. Even though I'm still slightly embarrassed by it, ha.

When I was 3 I moved to Astoria, Oregon. We moved in next door to a family that had 3 boys, one of which was my age. His name is Philip and I was basically smitten from the first second I saw him. We were close friends growing up and we played outside together almost everyday after school. He knew that I liked him, I used to chase him around our house and try to kiss him (oh dear...).
When I was 8 years old I was playing outside with my brother and we were daring each other to do stupid stuff except I wouldn't do some of the crazy things my brother wanted me to do because, well, he was my brother. Philip came outside at some point and joined my brother and I. And being the smitten 8 year old that I was, I wanted to do everything he wanted me to. The desire that I had to be close to him and make him laugh compelled me to do crazy things. I ate a dog biscuit and THEN he dared to me to sit on a piece of dog poop for 5 minutes. I sat on that stupid piece of poop with a big dumb grin on my face because we were friends, he was doing crazy things for me. It was hilarious to me!!

Looking back I feel really silly but God spoke to me through that this morning.
Discipline through intimacy. Being so smitten with the heart of God that it doesn't matter was He says anymore, it's not about Him asking. It's about me wanting to give myself over to Him because I know His heart. I feel His heart beat and I yearn for my heart to beat the same way. It's not about rules, following do's and do not's. It's about knowing intimately the heart of God and giving yourself over completely because a love like His compels me to do so. When I'm sitting with Papa on His lap, there isn't anything thing that I wouldn't do for Him. There isn't anything that I think is impossible. I dream big dreams only to have Him tell me that His are bigger and more extravagant that I could even imagine. But He's pleased with my heart to dream those huge dreams. He's going to do it. He's going to do that through me because I'm His daughter. I have a hunger so strong for God that I can go without the pleasures of this world and be completely satisfied.

But I know there is even more than this. I just want more of His heart. More of His hope and joy. My heart's cry for this generation is to know their identity and know the intimacy that they can have with the creator. As we seek His face He is going to create in us clean hands and pure hearts. A vast army with the sole purpose of bringing about the manifestation of His Kingdom, His love, on the Earth.

My heart is to stand before the Lord and present to Him whole nations. There is a verse in Psalms 2 that says "8Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations as Your inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth as Your possession."

And that rocks me. God, what is that I need to do in order to see that happen? And then He told me to read what He says right before that. 7 "I will declare the decree of the Lord: He said to Me, You are My Son; this day [I declare] I have begotten You."

IDENTITY, INTIMACY.

Knowing what the Lord speaks over us leads us into the kind of lifestyle that will woo nations to Himself!!

DO IT LORD!!

God who is Spirit, alive in me

After being home in Hammond for a while I made a few observations that I felt that I needed to write out because they made me smile and I know God delights in them :)

I love my mom sooo much. She's so strong and so beautiful. She's definitely one of my heroes. She wasn't the perfect mom in any sense but she did the best she could with the cards she was dealt and I'm very grateful. Every time I'm home I realize that I'm more and more like her everyday. Not only do I look a lot like her but I AM like her in a lot of ways (for better or worse). We laugh at the same things, have the same handwriting, have the same little quirks, the same pet peeves, etc. We were washing dishes together the other night and I was mentioning how much I realized that during this trip. I saw this slow smile spread across her face. It just said it all. She deeply enjoyed that her daughter is like her (and knows it!). And in the second I just heard the Lord laugh and delight in that. Not only because I honor and delight in my mom but that that's how He feels about me.

As my Father the more time I spend with Him, the more and more I become like Him. He's writing who He is on my heart. I look like Him, I'm beginning to act like Him, I understand His heart more and more every day.

I can just see Him, a slow smile spreading across His face, deeply enjoying His favorite daughter becoming more like Him.